Do you remember when you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire?

I've been listening to Against Me! since middle school. My brother's friend Brian was living with us at the time and I thought he and Chris were the coolest people on the planet. My brother has always sort of been my idol; he's cool and kind and a kick ass drummer and he seems to just rock life. They listened to a lot of stuff that was a little too intense for me, but Against Me! just got me. Tom Gabel was angry and yell-y, but the music cut right through all of my teenage angst. When Brian was living with us, they would listen to Against Me! all the time and I would join them, desperate to fit in and to listen to this band that made me feel SO cool when everything else about me was SO awkward.

My love for them has never really left. Against Me! is my angry driving music, it's good workout music, it's the kind of thing I can yell along to and forget any crap trying to bring me down. Long and short, I've loved this band for a really long time. I've never gone to a show because their pits are a little TOO intense for me. And by a little, I mean a lot. BUT they are playing at Workplay tonight, which has a lovely balcony area for me to not be in with all the moshing punching kids.

So why does this matter? Well, you see, I have confidence issues. Shocker, right? Anyway. Part of this whole lifestyle change yada yada has been increasing my confidence and realizing that no one is judging me as harshly as I'm judging myself. When I went to the Frank Turner show, I actually had to circle the venue twice before I parked because I was so afraid all these punk kids would look at me and be like, she doesn't belong here. I KNOW how ridiculous that is. Trust me. But it's rooted very deep inside me and it's going to take a long time to resolve. So while the thought of the show tonight excites me a great deal, I also have this nagging terror that I'm going to show up in my little sweater and boots and get mocked by the punk kids.

But it's time to let that go. I'm not some fairweather fan, I'm not someone who has never heard of them. I don't have to wear all black, have a ripped up leather jacket, or hair that looks like I haven't washed it in days. Against Me! has been a part of my life for a long time. But even if they hadn't, so what? So what if I was just some girl who thought hey, cheap concert, I think I'll go? No one is going to judge me, or ask me why I'm qualified to come to a punk show. And I need to carry that through other aspects of my life; no one is going to think hey, that girl doesn't belong in the gym. She shouldn't be wearing those pants. What is she thinking trying to ski (more on that later)? We assume the entire world is out to tell us just how much we suck and how unworthy we are of all the things in our life. But they really, really aren't. They're trying to enjoy the show, lift the weights, and make it down the ski slope exactly the same way we are.