As most of you know, I've pretty much always identified myself as a Christian. I didn't grow up going to church, but I started going off and on in high school. I don't read the Bible as much as I should, I don't know all of the stories, and I've always had my doubts. So I think most of you know I've also pretty much always struggled with my faith. What I really believe, what it means, and how my life should reflect it.
I'm still not really clear on a lot of things, but today God laid something big on my heart. Like I said, I've always called myself a Christian but if I am really truly honest with myself, I don't think I ever prayed that prayer. I never really asked Jesus Christ to come into my heart and transform my life. I never claimed him as my personal savior and accepted the implications and profound changes to my life that should come with that. But this morning at church God was like hey, it's time. Money where your mouth is, essentially. So a few minutes into the service I felt God stirring in me the need to make the personal and public declaration of my faith and ask Jesus into my heart. I spent the rest of the service ready to burst out of my seat and say hey church! So when the alter call came I knew God was leading me to the front so I joined Brother Donnie and he helped me to pray for God to lead my life. I cried a lot, but this isn't something to be taken lightly. I should feel this passionately about the decision to ask Jesus into my life. I can't ignore His call anymore. I need to open my heart and my mind to the life He wants for me.
After the service I was joined up front by all the new friends I've made at Forest Lake Baptist. That was really overwhelming. In a few short weeks I have made some amazing friends and connected with so many people. Being congratulated and loved on by an entire church is really something special.
It's like a huge weight has been lifted from my heart and I have this overflowing joy that no one can take away. We talked in Sunday School a lot about the difference between happiness and joy and using our challenges and tribulations to glorify God rather than blaming him for our hardships. I know that my life is not suddenly going to become perfect and my doubts aren't suddenly going to go away, but the pure joy that comes from Jesus Christ goes so far beyond the troubles of this world. I finally feel confident in my heart that I will get to see Marika and Nagymama again. I know how proud they must be of the decision I made today. I feel like I've removed a stumbling block that has been holding me back from a true walk with God. Now that I've made this decision I can focus my energies on living a life to glorify God and learning more about His heart and character. Glory glory to God!
