"There is hope in dreams, imagination, and in the courage of those who wish to make those dreams a reality."

Alright, blog. It's been a month and a half. I guess I should update you. Morale has improved since we last spoke. The whole crying a lot thing is under control, and I've actually made some really awesome friends here in Greensboro. Taking doggie back to the shelter was the right decision, but I still feel like a horrible person and that there must be something wrong with me that I don't want a dog. But I'm sure that will pass eventually. Leaving my job at the magazine was 100% the right thing to do and I haven't regretted it even for a second. I'm sad that things that I spent so much time and effort on won't even be attributed to me, but I will live and I will know that it is my work. I finally started sewing again. I'm working on Rachel's graduation dress. It feels nice to get back into it. I guess I'm not technically unemployed anymore because I am working as a substitute teacher. And by that I mean I've been called in once and I'm praying I get more call backs. It was good, though. I subbed for a 6th grade reading class and I discovered I really didn't hate it. So hopefully I can work enough to pay my rent each month. Cause you know, that's important. Most of my time has been spent on a massive road sign collage for Facebook HQ. When I have photos and a better explanation, I will share. For now know that I probably need a tetanus shot and dealing with old road signs is definitely a great workout. Speaking of which, still going to the gym regularly. And I feel horrible when I don't go, so that's a good sign, right? Also walked a 5K last week. Yup, walked it with a friend. And we are awesome. Won 2nd place in my age group. Does that tell you how few people our age did it? Ha. But it was really fun. That weekend was really when I started feeling less like an outsider and more like a part of the community. People are starting to remember who I am and I don't feel so awkward walking around town. It's nice. Got left in charge of Pie Lab one day. That was an adventure. They were closed so I really just had to make sure not to burn the place down. Ended up scorching my elbow on the oven. Oops. Let's see, what else. Tomorrow I'm decorating my house for Halloween. SO EXCITED. I'm going to cover the front in spider web. Oh, I spent this weekend in Tuscaloosa. It was so much fun. Got to see good friends, eat good food and hang out in one of my favorite towns. Good, good weekend. Next week I'll drive home to drive/fly up to New Jersey for Nagymama's memorial service. Oh, yeah, I didn't share that. A few weeks ago Nagymama passed away. It was really pretty sudden and I'm still not sure how to process it. I spent two weeks in New Jersey with my mom. I'm really glad I could be there and that we had a day or two of coherency so I could talk to Nagymama. She means so much to me and I really am incredibly blessed to have spent three summers living with her. I know sometimes it was hard but I learned so much and got some incredible experiences that a lot of people don't get with their grandparents. I miss her like crazy but I can't help but smile when I think of the incredible welcoming committee she had in heaven. Marika, Palco, Nagypapa, everyone. How amazing was that reunion? So I know they are all watching over me. I made a cake last weekend for some people in town from Boston and I had to smile knowing she would be proud of me for making such an awesome cake but she would have insisted I make my own whipped cream.

So there's life. This week should be busy, which is always good. I'll try to update more but let's be honest, it's not going to happen. Oh, one more update, I'm studying for the GRE. I'm looking into some PhD programs and maybe some masters. I don't really know what I want to do with my life, but I'm pretty sure more school should be in my future. So we will see how that pans out.

“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet.”

Let's be honest, this whole monthly posting thing is probably going to become the norm. Oops.

Oh well. Let's update you on my life. I've made a lot of mistakes. Some big, some little. But I'm realizing that there's no way to keep myself from messing up and as long as I learn something from each of them, it should all turn out okay, right?

So doggie went back to the shelter. I struggled with that decision for a very, very long time. He was the most wonderful, loving dog I could ask for, but I absolutely did not want him. He just wanted to give me love and attention and I just wanted to be left alone. I wasn't ready to commit to that much responsibility and unfortunately I didn't realize that until after the fact. I guess I really couldn't have known it without trying, but it was a huge mistake and one that still kind of hurts. I feel like a horrible person for taking him back, but I also donated everything that I had bought for him, including cage, leashes, toys, food, heartworm medicine, everything. So that makes me feel better and feel like he will have a good shot at getting adopted by a really awesome family.

I left my job at the magazine. It was no longer a good situation and it was time for me to take my leave. I'm still a little panicky about being jobless, but I also know that something better is waiting for me. I know for sure that leaving was not a mistake. Taking the job in the first place very well may have been, but it served its purpose at the time. I'm applying to be a substitute teacher in Hale County, so hopefully that will help me cover rent and whatnot.

Let's see, what else. I'm volunteering a lot, which is awesome. I volunteer with Project Horseshoe Farm, which is really cool. I'm tutoring middle schoolers in math, which is interesting since I haven't had math since senior year of high school. But it should be good. And they have a day program and that is really fun to work with. Everyone has really great stories.

I'm also working with HERO on some projects. Pam is amazing and I kind of want to be her when I grow up. She also has a background in fashion so that's a nice link. We have some cool stuff going and I'm going to work on some cool new stuff for Pie Lab. I'm excited to do that.

Hmm other than that.. well, I'm working on the weight loss thing again. I know I've restarted this way too many times to count but this time I can really devote myself to it. I've been going to the gym twice a day and eating a lot of fruits and veggies. The beauty of Greensboro is there are maybe 4 restaurants (if you really want to call them that), no bars and no temptation really to eat bad things. So I'm hoping it continues to go well and I finally get to be the brand new me when this year is up.

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing after this year. And what I'm doing now, really. But I committed to a year off and I need to follow through on that. This year is about getting healthy and figuring out what I really truly want. After that, we will see. I'm going to look into grad school and see if that is where I belong. I have a funny feeling the answer is yes, because I don't see myself being satisfied with just a 4 year degree in fashion. I need to learn more and do more. So I'll keep you posted on that.

Other than that, I'm just trying to get to know people in town. There are a lot of people my age here for different things. It's strange to be the one that is here for no real specific reason, but I'm slowly meeting people. Everyone has been great so far, so that helps. I'll just keep on keeping on and see where the road leads.

So yeah. There's my life at the moment. Not too exciting, a little terrifying, but it is what it is.

“If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much.”

I figured I should wait for a good mood before updating this thing. I don't want to be mopey dopey about life.

So it's been...almost a month since I last posted. Fail boat. I think now that I have time, I should probably make it a regular thing, though I don't know how much exciting stuff I'll have to talk about.

After Chicago, I finished up my last 2 weeks at work. It was pretty sad to leave since the Honors College really has some amazing people. They all got together and wrote encouragements on a tape measurer which I will treasure forever. It was SO thoughtful. After that, Mom came to Tuscaloosa and helped me pack my whole apartment up in two days. Whoo! On the 30th we drove down to Greensboro, dropped the van off, went to Eutaw to pick up the U-haul (which was super ghetto but rode great and the guy running the place was precious) then went back to Tuscaloosa and let the lovely, lovely men from Two Men and a Truck load everything up. It only took them an hour. AN HOUR. HA! It would have taken my mom and I a day and a half. They even got the couch down without taking the legs off. Wonderful, magical men, those two.

Oh! Fun story. So I was trying to stay out of their way, but I also needed to shut off my water and internet and everything, so I hid in the bathroom and sat on top of the toilet with my computer. So one of the guys comes into the bedroom to move stuff out and he looks over and just goes, "I thought you were taking a dump." HA. Hilarious. I was like, what would he have done if I was? I think you had to be there...it was really funny. But that just kind of set the tone. They were awesome dudes. When I told them we had to take the feet off the couch they were like, well we didn't! We're professionals. It was grand.

ANYWAY. Got the truck loaded up, got the last minute things in, got Jimmy Johns, then headed down to Greensboro. Got everything unpacked in an hour and a half (seriously impressive) and took the truck back to Eutaw. Side note: it's a teeny tiny town. Surprised? Nope. So then we came back, unloaded the van, then set to work unpacking. Good golly miss molly, it took the entire week to get everything unpacked and put away. Did you know I have a lot of stuff? I'm sure you did. I think everyone knows that. So yeah, we spent the week doing that, and we also went up to Tuscaloosa Metro and found me a new doggie friend. His name is Sammy, more updates on him later. We're still in our trial phase.

Mom and I had a blast last week. It was nice to have mommy daughter time and she's just as crazy as me so everything was an adventure. Did I tell you I got my car stuck in a mud pit that appeared in my backyard when it rained? THAT was fun. Took 45 minutes but we finally got it unstuck. My determination not to call USAA to tow it out was seriously what got us through. I met my neighbor when he came over and offered to mow the lawn for me, since it hadn't been mowed in like 3 weeks. He is really nice and his kids are adorable. He came over, mowed the whole thing, and then came back with the weed whacker to finish it. SO awesome! I need to bake him something soon.

Let's see, what else have I discovered about small town America...I walk 2 or 3 times a day and most people wave, so that's fun. I'm still working on meeting people. I start volunteering this week so I'm hoping that helps. I've gotten a few "hey sweetness" calls while walking, which is definitely skeevy, but these things happen.

Yesterday I had to go to Birmingham for a doctor's appointment so I decided to meet up with Heather afterwards and get some photos done for work and then just hang out and have best friend time. It was amazing. We got great pictures and I had a great time catching up and exploring a bit. We went to the farmers market this morning, which definitely puts the G-boro one to shame. I got muscadines. I LOVE THEM. I ate them all when I got home. Oops. But I think it's a standing plan for me to make the trip to Bham every few weeks. It'll help my sanity to see my best friend and to spend some time in the "big city" as it's called here. Actually, Tuscaloosa is the big city...scary.

Oh another fun side story. I went to the hardware store looking for a toilet paper holder. They said they were out but the truck would be in in two weeks. So then I asked for a hose extender. Out, on the truck. Then I asked if they would cut the dowels they were selling and they stared blankly at me and said, "you must be from the big city." YUP. So I bought a saw and cut them myself. WOO.

Let's see, what else...the vet is really nice, sitting in McDonald's to use the wifi is strange, and my garden is really starting to grow. HUZZAH.

Now I guess it's honesty time. I was an absolute wreck the first few days after my mom left. Like crying, hysterical wreck. I don't know anyone here, there are some things wrong with the house that I didn't realize when I signed the lease, and the dog is super overwhelming on top of everything. I basically wanted to quit and go home. But I know I can't do that, and I have to remember the reasons I'm down here. (I'll spell those out later.) I need to focus on my goals and do my best to meet people my age. That's why I'm going to start volunteering with Horseshoe Farm, and I'm excited. But really, don't let anyone tell you otherwise; moving to a new town where you don't know anyone, have no way of naturally meeting people and are considered the minority is a terrifying experience. Add a new dog that has SO much love to give when you just want to ball up and cry and it's a perfect mix for a break down. But fear not! Doggie can be trained, best friends are within 2 hours driving distance and focusing on your goals will remind you why you made the crazy life decisions you did. Now I'm not saying tomorrow (or an hour from now) I won't be crazy Theresa again, I'm just saying that right now, I'm remembering why I'm here and I'm going to do my best to make it a great year.

Oh, pictures of the house and whatnot will follow soon. I swears.

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

Oh man, I'm so bad about keeping this updated! Sorry guys. Let's see...4th of July was a lot of fun. Got to watch the t-town fireworks and the ones the yahoos next to us decided to bring. It was awesome. Um, let's see...I don't know. July has been kind of a blur, so let's just skip it and go into detail about this weekend. Okay? Okay!

SO this weekend my wonderful amazing friend Dan Gerber got married to his equally wonderful amazing fiance Cassidy. As soon as I found out about it I knew I needed to get myself to Chicago to be a part of it, so Roger, Hisham, Matt and I coordinated and decided to all go. I drove up to Birmingham Friday afternoon, only to find my plane had been delayed two hours. It's basically par for the course at this point for my flights to be delayed. So instead of taking off at 4:55 we took off at 6:45. I made it to Midway around 8 or so and met up with Roger, who had been waiting for an hour and a half. Sorry! So we got my checked bag, went to get the rental car, then decided to find a pizza place to get some deep dish pizza (of course!). We ended up at a little place called Positano's, a sort of sketchy but pretty delicious pizza place a few minutes from the airport. We ate and caught up. It was a tiny place but it was fun. After that, Hisham's flight had landed so we headed back to the airport to pick him up. From there we headed to Matt's place in Evanston.

We stayed up for a few hours catching up and laughing at pretty much everything. I was exhausted so everything was funny. Matt's condo was nice. He definitely needs to learn how to cook. Boys living by themselves are hilarious. So anywho, while we were hanging out chatting we all realized that it was stupid to come all the way to Chicago just to fly back out early Sunday morning. So we all changed to later flights so we would have all day Sunday to explore. After that, we crashed.

I woke up way too early Saturday so I got ready and just waited for the boys to wake up. I would totally have cooked a bunch for Matt if he had any food in the house. haha. Once everyone was up and ready we decided to find a fun place for breakfast/brunch. We found this place called m.henrietta that was amaaazing. Roger and I split two things so we could try them. Mmmm fried egg sandwich and blackberry hot cakes. Yum! Definitely worth driving a few minutes in the opposite direction of where we needed to go. After that, full and happy, we headed over to the hotel to check in and get ready for the wedding. It was a nice hotel and only like 5 minutes from the wedding site.

The wedding was definitely one of the most wonderful I've ever been to. The ceremony was outside overlooking the sand dunes and the lake and Dan and Cassidy looked so overjoyed to be getting married. So many couples get caught up in the little things of the day and don't spend enough time focusing on each other. Dan was grinning the entire time and Cassidy looked absolutely flawless. Her dress was lace and beautiful and so amazing. They centered their ceremony about their commitment to God and letting Him lead their lives and it was so inspiring. It's so great to see two people who are so perfect for each other. :)

Okay, enough mushy stuff. At the end of the ceremony they were both surprised by a bag pipe player that neither of them had any idea would be a part of it, but you could tell they loved it! It was a lot of fun. After that the reception was nice and relaxed and I think everyone had a great time. YAY CASSIDY AND DAN GERBER!!!

Sunday morning everyone slept in, except me. Curse you, internal alarm clock! So I got up, got ready and went down for breakfast. Then I waited around for a while and still no one woke up. Eventually they all got up when I said they had 15 minutes til breakfast ended. ha. So we all got ready, packed up and headed to Evanston to drop Matt off. It was so nice to hang out with everyone again. It's weird to think we aren't all getting back together in t-town in a month. So after that Roger, Hisham and I headed to downtown Chicago for Taste of Chicago. I accidentally missed the turn for parking and we ended up going several miles down the road before I was able to turn around. I'm so glad we did though because we ended up seeing the zoo and museum and beach and farris wheel aaaaand Soldier Field, which is apparently where the Bears play? Woo? Anyway. That was really neat. So we eventually turned around, parked in an underground parking deck and headed into the festival madness. It was hot and crowded but I loved it. The food was good, the atmosphere was fun and it was definitely an awesome experience. We found a place giving away free water bottles so we hit them up a few times. I spent my tickets on so many random things; fried plantains, sausage, tiramisu, breaded steak, a chicago hot dog, SO many things! It was great. I bought a few souvenirs (duh, tourist, hello?) and then we went back to the car.

We still had some time to kill before we had to get to the airport, so we decided to drive around downtown and see the Sears (now Willis) Tower. Driving in Chicago was awesome. I felt seriously BA in my moderately-sized SUV weaving in and out and making my way around. It reminds me a lot of New York except a little less crowded and with friendlier people. We eventually found the tower, paid a dollar for ten minutes of parking and got out to look around. Got a few pictures, got kicked out of the lobby (did you know it is not open to the public?) and then headed on our way.

Chicago is a seriously cool place. I'd love to spend more than just a few hours there. So from there we headed back to Midway, got gas, dropped Hisham off, returned the car and made it back just in time for Roger to board his plane. Mine got delayed (common theme...) so I hung out and eventually made it back to Bham around 10:45 and back to Tuscaloosa around midnight.

It was really seriously one of the best weekends I've had. I got to spend it with awesome people, seeing awesome people get married, in a place I've never been before. What's not to like?

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.”

I think I have to chalk most of my life up to "everything happens for a reason." I was pretty upset that St. Augustine didn't work out and really unsure of what I was going to do. I haven't really had a plan and I haven't really been feeling good about any of my options. I was just planning on moving somewhere in Birmingham and just hoping for the best.

Obviously, if you know me, you know I couldn't just sit still and accept that. So I have spent the last several weeks on craigslist at all hours of the night, scouring and hoping to find just what I'm looking for. Well, Tuesday night, about 1:30 in the morning, I was just about to get off the computer when I searched for places in Greensboro on a whim. I know Greensboro is a seriously tiny town with a lot of poverty but it is also one of the most hopeful, do-something towns I've ever encountered. HERO is an amazing organization and is well-respected in the community. I have worked with them before and I absolutely loved it. So I figured, why not? It's only 45 minutes from t-town and it would be an adventure. So I searched and what do you know? The day before, HERO had posted several of the Rural Studio houses for rent. I got super excited and emailed them, hoping for a response. Wednesday morning I woke up to an excited email saying of course they would love to show me the houses! So I called my mom and talked to Mrs. Batson and we all decided I should go down there that day so I didn't miss out on anything. So I worked until 1, convinced Cameron to come with me, and we headed down to Greensboro.

The drive down really isn't too bad. I think it took us about 35 minutes at the most, which is awesome. We met at the HERO office and Pam, who remembered me from the apron show (yay!) and one of the other people who work for HERO took us to see 1, 2 and 3 bedroom houses. The 1 was definitely too small for me. I go crazy in that little of a space. The 3 was awesome, but just didn't feel quite right. And thennn we hit the 2 bedroom. It was perfect. I knew as soon as I saw it I had to have it. So they let Cameron and I sit and talk about it, then I went back to the HERO office and explained that I loved it but I was hesitant, so Cameron suggested we drive around a bit and think about it. I called my mom and 2 minutes later pulled a U-turn in the road, pulled back in and marched into the office. Everyone laughed because I probably looked like a crazy person, but I told them I had decided and I definitely wanted it. It was amazing. I paid my deposit, gave them all of my info, and we are good to go as soon as I sign the lease!

My new house is amazing, by the way. It's energy efficient, made with rammed earth walls, insulation made from recycled blue jeans and pressed straw insulation in the floor. It has a huge backyard, a front porch and a back porch and amazing sliding glass doors in every room. Once I have better pictures I will try to share them. :)

After that, Cameron and I got some pie, then drove around to explore the rest of the town. It's small, it's quaint, and it feels just right for me. If you know me, you know I wasn't meant to go to New York. Most people would go insane in such a small town; not me. I'm absolutely giddy at the thought of having my own garden, a huge backyard and being able to walk to Main Street. The best part is how excited everyone was for me to join the community. They want me to get involved in HERO, help teach people how to sew, and come up with any grand ideas I might have. It is the perfect place for me to reflect on myself, work on my designs and do my part to make a difference in other people's lives.

So there you have it, folks. From New York City to Greensboro, Alabama and not a single regret in the process. I'm so grateful to have had the opportunities I did at Macy's and I cannot wait to start the next chapter in my life. Maybe someday I'll end up in New York, but for right now I cannot wait to go to my town of 2,500 people and a 25 mph speed limit.

“Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.”

Oh boy what a month it has been.

Jersey was an adventure. Fell through a dock and banged up my right leg quite a bit. The bruise is just now starting to fade but the weird pains in my knee are certainly new. I also have a lovely case of poison ivy on both of my legs, even though it's been three weeks. Oy. The cabin on the lake was amazing, though. I could have stayed there forever. We paddled the canoe, swam, I fell out of the kayak (a lot), and just had a nice time. Went to the wedding, then it was time to head back. Gabrielle and I flew to Charlotte, then I flew to Tampa and met up with my parents and Chris. Had to rent a car from Enterprise. Terrible experience. I absolutely hate them. Went to St. Augustine. Stayed at Casa Yallaha. Was terrified at first but it turned out to be pretty neat. $35 for a private room, can't really beat it. Met a man I assume was a Canadian drug dealer, but he was quite lovely and we had a fun time watching soccer. Left a day early, went back to Spring Hill. Hung out at home for a few days. We had a lot of fun the Friday night before I came back. Made pasta and pesto from scratch, played Yahtzee and baked carrot cake and vegan chocolate cake. It was so fun. Flew back the Saturday before my birthday. Hung out for the weekend. Monday was my birthday. Worked all day, then went to Mellow Mushroom for birthday dinner. Then swam a bit. Worked the rest of the week. Friday night we had my birthday party. Roommates did a wonderful job. It was a lot of fun. Spent the past weekend vegging basically. Worked today. Long day. Ready for the summer to end so I can move on with my life.

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.”

It seems I've spent a lot of my time lately in airports. Today, I'm in the Philly airport after flying from Charlotte. It was Gabrielle's first flight! How exciting. We were on a 767, which is huuuge! We ended up in the middle row, but we had it to ourselves so it wasn't so bad. This past weekend was grand. After the 7 hour wait in BHM, I finally got on the 7 pm flight and got to Charlotte. Had no problem getting my rental car, ended up with a Jeep Compass. It had 4WD and was REALLY fun to drive. I took my time getting to Hudson and stopped to get a toothbrush and some other stuff. I got to Hudson and being the idiot that I am, I decided it would be a GRAND idea to drive by Marika's old house. Of course, I lost it. Utterly and completely lost it. It wasn't pretty. So I called my mom and she calmed me down, then we had a hysterical laugh fest for a good ten minutes because I bought toilet paper. Only Marika, my mom and I know how funny this is. Every summer that I spent there, I brought my own toilet paper because Marika was convinced having me in the house depleted the toilet paper supply. So every year I would stop at the store on the way in and buy a big pack of toilet paper. I decided that I couldn't come here now without any, so I stopped at Walgreens and got a 59 cent roll. It seemed appropriate.

Spending time with my cousins was amazing. They have really grown up a lot and it's amazing to see how close they are. They really look out for each other. I know Marika must be proud.

We went up to Boone Sunday just to hang out and explore. Went to Price Lake, stopped at all the tourist trap souvenir shops, then went back to Randy's to hang out for a while. Yesterday we hung out, went to Nick's game that ended up not happening, then hanging out at Randy's again. It's amazing how easy it is to just sit and talk to them for hours.

Oh, side note, I have a funny story. I was sitting in the BHM airport trying to charge my phone when this super creepy dude started hitting on me. He told me he was a rapper and told me to add him on facebook. I was like ahhh no! So I told Joe to call me to save me. Well, he did one better. He called the AIRPORT and had them call me over the loud speaker so I HAD to get up. So brilliant. That definitely improved my mood.

Ok so back to today. We got up and got to the airport early and got on the 2:45 flight instead of the 4:05 because I saw it had a ton of seats and I didn't want to sit in the airport again. Easy flight, and now we are just hanging out in the Philly airport. I'm SO excited to see George and everyone, and I can't wait for Tom and Meghan's wedding! It's going to be a good week.