“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

So technically I've got three days to go, but I think I'll try to get this out now while I have some time.

A year ago, the lives of everyone in Tuscaloosa changed forever. We lost family, friends, students, faculty, homes and livelihoods. The world changed for us. I lost my apartment. It seems so trivial, but I genuinely loved Cedar Crest and think about it often. How I always felt comforted knowing Tota and Teca were just downstairs, how I could open every window in my apartment and feel like I was outside, and how even though I closed them, none of my doors ever really stayed shut. It felt more like home to me than any other place in Tuscaloosa had. To lose it really took a toll on me.

It took me a couple months to finally realize the full impact of the tornado. I knew I wasn't myself, but I just attributed it to everything else going on; stress, New York, new experiences, and sure maybe the tornado a little. But driving down 15th Street still feels like a giant punch in the gut. Every time I drive by knowing what I'm going to see, but some part of me still hopes to turn down that road and see my crappy little apartment standing there waiting for me. The McDonald's is back, Krispy Kreme has started to rebuild, and so many others are on their way. But Tuscaloosa has a long road of recovery ahead.

I can't say the past year has necessarily been good. After the tornado I promised myself I would live my life as fully as I could, and stop putting off the things I've always wanted to do. I stopped letting money or homework or any other excuse get in the way of experiencing life and enjoying my friends. Sure, my bank account is a lot slimmer but I've done a lot more in the last year than I ever would have expected.

But like I said, I can't say it's been a good year. I've definitely felt the weight of the tornado, and seeing its destruction every day makes it hard to shrug off. I also lost my aunt, which left a gaping hole in my soul I have yet to find any feasible way of patching up. Three months later, we lost her husband, leaving her three kids without parents. That's not something to shrug off. That's something that stays with you everyday. How do I help them? Can I? Do they want my help? It's something I struggle with, and I know all of my extended family do too. We love those kids. We love Marika. And our hearts break every time we think of what they're going through.

I've dealt with a lot over the past year. I was down and out for two weeks with what I lovingly named the badgers, leaving me weak and pathetic in my bed. I discovered the value of the Counseling Center. It took me a very long time to work up the nerve to go there, but I finally did it. I don't think I'll ever be one of those people who can sit around and chat about my grief to a room full of strangers, but one on one time with my counselor helped me place a lot of my emotions. Don't let anyone ever tell you that getting help makes you weak. It's not a sign of failure, it's a sign of strength. I was finally strong enough to admit that I couldn't shoulder everything on my own. There's power in that.

Over the course of this week, we're going to have a lot of remembrance events and there will be a lot of emotions running through this town. That's natural; we've lost a lot, and the scars on our town are deep and wide. But over the past year, we've gained a lot. We've gained perspective on the important things in our lives. We've seen the true colors of our neighbors and friends. We've learned how strong our community is and how resilient its residents can be.

I know I've learned a lot over the past year, too. I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I don't have the same goals, and I don't expect the same things out of life. I'm starting to realize how important that is. Finding these raw emotions exposed has forced me to face myself and what I want to do with my life. Had things worked out last year how I expected them to, I don't think I'd be happy. It took a year of struggle and soul searching to realize what I truly want.

I know we are going to see a lot of "remember 4/27/11"going around this week. As if we could ever forget. Don't expect large shows of emotion from me. Let your emotions be genuine. This is a time to remember those we lost and the impact they had on our lives and to honor what our town can become. Don't get bogged down by everything; lift your heads high and be proud of Tuscaloosa. We have survived, and we will come back greater than we've ever been.