"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Maria Bailey is my hero. She is my aunt, she is my friend, but most importantly, she is a fighter.

Marika (as I call her...it's Hungarian, I swear I can spell) has been battling cancer in some form or another for ten+ years now. It started as breast cancer and has since morphed into several other forms. She has been battling like hell, and I'm so proud of her for it. Somehow, in the middle of that battle, she found time to take care of the house and her children as best she could. She battled the dogs and their stink, the weather and it's barn-wrecking abilities, and her kids and their lovable yet annoying teenage phases.

Right now, Marika is fighting the fight of her life. Her body is trying to betray her, but we don't want to let that happen. We want her to fight like hell, to beat the odds, and be restored to full health.

I'm asking all of you to pray. Pray harder than you have before, pour open your hearts before God and ask him for this miracle. We ask our Lord to intervene in Marika's life and restore her health. We ask that the cancer be erased without leaving a single trace, and that she is allowed to live a long, fulfilling life. Ask your friends to pray, ask your family to pray, and ask God to help us. The relationships we form in this life are what make it meaningful, and my relationship with Marika has made my life more full. To cut that short is shattering. To rob this world of getting to know Marika is a heartbreaking mistake.

Family makes up our best friends, those forced to be with us whether we want them there or not. Through thick and thin, they are there for us. For several summers during high school, rather than lounge at home or take a summer job, I drove to North Carolina and spent my time with Marika and her family. I taught Nick how to tie his shoes, and I helped Randy with math as best I could. I rode horses with Marika, laughed as Gabrielle shoveled poop out of the barn. When I was there, I took Marika to her doctor's appointments, and tried to be as positive as I could. Those summers make up some of my fondest memories. I learned that, though I love horses, I definitely don't belong shoveling their poop. And while I was sure I would love App State, Alabama is where I belong. I got to share parts of my own lovable yet annoying teenage phase with her. Marika and my mom have so much of each other in them, it was easy to be away from home for that long. It was like moving in with my second mom.

Marika is my hero. Through all of it, through chemo, through losing her hair, through those stinky dogs running amuck in her house, she has never stopped fighting. That's all I'm praying for now; I'm praying that Marika continues to live the way she always has. As a fighter. Please join me in rallying around my aunt, Maria Bailey. No matter the outcome, we know that she is in God's hands.

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

I always joke with my family that I got all of the reject genes. Kathy got the skinny, pretty, athletic genes and I got the stubby, clumsy, sausage toe genes. We also compare our personality traits and where they came from. We joke about which side of the family the crazy comes from, and we all know I got my ability to haggle from my dad. But one of the things I am most proud of is one of the traits I got from my mom. We are both what I like to call "fixers." When someone has a problem, or tells us of a woeful story, we don't just say, "gee, I'm so sorry." We say, "what can I do?" We don't try to fix everything in the negative sense; we just do everything in our power to make a difference. When my best friend calls me crying because her nose is so stuffed up she can't breathe, I show up with tissues, nyquil, and a few good jokes to distract her. When we couldn't figure out how to get food for the fashion show, I called in favors and sent out Fashion, Inc. members to do something about it. I think what I'm getting at is that we are proactive. We can be sympathetic, empathetic or whatever, but in the end we are going to say, "What can I do?"

When my mom called me Friday night and told me that my aunt Marika was in the hospital, the first words out of my mouth were, "I can leave tonight." She told me to slow my roll a bit and leave in the morning, but there was no hesitation. I grew up knowing that family is the most important asset in life, and I don't think for a second about being there for my family. Obviously I can't heal the cancer, and I know I can't make Marika better. But I can help her clean the house, distract the kids and try to give her enjoyable days. I took Gabrielle shopping, I took an obscenely large number of trips to the Blue Moose (BEST. COFFEE. EVER.) and I spent a great deal of time joking around with the family. I was there to give the third greatest gift ever - laughter. (That's a reference to the new Muppets movie. I saw it tonight with Chris and Amy. Go see it!)

I might not always get things right. What I think is helpful might just complicate things. When I try to fix things, sometimes I might make them worse. And in the end, the things I do might get reversed, they might not matter to the world. But they matter in that moment. For a moment, I'm a fixer. For a day or two, I can do everything in my power to make a difference. That's what it means to be a fixer, and I'm proud to say I inherited it 100% from my mom. There's no expectation of repayment, no chip on her shoulder. She is one of the most selfless people I know, and she would do anything for anyone. All she wants out of the deal is to make a difference, no matter how small.

I ask that you all pray for my aunt Marika. She is an amazing woman and she can beat cancer and be restored to full health. We believe that God answers prayers and that He will heal her.

This isn't some self righteous post about how I'm the most selfless, fabulous person in the world. It's just a realization I made over the past few days that I'm really proud of. I genuinely want to make a difference in this world. I can be selfish and I can be rude sometimes, but I want to make the best effort I can to make a positive impact on everyone in my life. I want to be a fixer for the rest of my life. I KNOW it can drive some of my friends absolutely insane, but I hope I never stop. I hope I always continue to make friends with the weird kids, invite everyone I know to parties so no one gets left out, and show up at the drop of a hat when someone needs something. I want to be a change maker in this world, not just a bystander.

“Fashion is about good energy. It's about feelings. That's what I have to give the people, good energy and good feelings.”

Yowza. It's been a while. Sorry about that. You know, life is busy, yada yada.

The fashion show went really well. I had 12 pieces, 7 looks, and I couldn't be happier with it. The hair people from Salon TaraBella came down to do my models' hair as well as Lindsay's. It was super crazy, but they all got done and they looked AMAZING. We had well over 700 people show up and everyone was really pleased. I took my models and some of my super amazing best friends out to Buffalo Wild Wings after the show with my parents. I'm SO glad they both got to be there for the show too. I was so insanely proud of it and so glad I could share it with them.

After the show, I just wanted to sleep for days. Instead, I wrote a history paper. Woo. Then I went to the horribly awful LSU game. Oy. We won't talk about that.

The past few weeks have been super busy, but I'm so glad I've gotten to spend time with a lot of people who are important to me. It's insane to me that I'll be leaving Alabama in less than a year, and I'm so sad to leave these people.

But anyway. Today has been....an adventure. I went to the doctor and found out I have bronchitis (oh great.), wrote a nonsense paper in history, and oh yeah, UA had a bomb threat. Awesome. And the University was terribly vague and lacking in details, so no one knew what was going on. It was swell.

This week all my boards are due for my senior collection, I need to get well, and I need to clean my apartment so I can start holiday decorating. I have fall-y decorations for Thanksgiving, then it's onto Christmas, aka my FAVORITE time of the year!

Sorry my posts are so few and far between. I haven't felt particularly chatty lately, so hopefully that changes soon.

Here are pictures to make up for it!

"because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing."

So I'm pretty sure I owned both my International Trade and History tests last week. I sure studied enough for them.

I don't remember what I did last week. It was a lot of sewing and studying, though.

Monday night was CBH Pumpkin Carving night. We actually had a pretty decent turnout, and I'm so happy about that. Everyone seemed to have a good time, and they enjoyed the prizes. hehe.

I'm actually making really great progress on my collection. I have one and a half pieces that I HAVE to get done, with two optional shrugs I wanted to add but I don't have to if I don't have time. I'm spending all day today and tomorrow in the sewing lab, so I should get a lot done. Huzzah!

Let's see...life has been super overwhelming lately, I'm anxious about the future, and I felt super duper out of control of my own life. So tonight, when I should have been reading for the history paper I HAVE to get done, I decided it was a good idea to clean my entire apartment.

Now, normally, when I say I'M GOING TO CLEAN EVERYTHING! I scrub one room and end up calling it quits cause I'm too tired.

NOT TONIGHT.

Tonight, I was determined. I keep complaining about how my apartment (and life) is a mess, but I couldn't seem to DO anything about it. I KNOW what I need to do, but I was having issues getting it done. Tonight, I decided I was going to clean everything, do all the dishes, and the laundry, and put all my clothes away. So I did. In less than three hours, too. That has got to be a personal record. I even got to the sewing room, which rarely ever happens.

Generally, the state of my apartment represents the state of my life at that point in time. Three hours ago, my apartment looked like a disaster area. Three hours ago, that's how my life felt. Now, it's organized, even if I still need to dust and vacuum. My life feels much more in my own control now.

Alright, so there's that. What else did I need to tell you about, blog? OH. Well, see, there's this little show I'm in called Fashion for Life. Have you heard of it? Yeah, it's our senior design show. It's November 1st at the Bryant Conference Center at 7:30 pm. Doors open at 6:30, it's $5 for students, $8 for general admission.

YOU ALL NEED TO BE THERE.

In addition to showing my collection, I have been doing a large part of the planning. And by large part, I mean I'm the only student involved in the planning. God bless my PR officer, though. She has been AMAZING in helping me get the word out about it.

So yep. Thursday and Friday will be spent sewing my butt off, my parents get in Saturday, and Tuesday is the show. Then next weekend is the LSU game, which is going to get craaaaazy. I'm so pumped for that.

Ok, enough rambling. I'm proud of my cleaning and I had to share it with the world. Love you bye bye.

"If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders."

When I have to study, I have this overwhelming urge to chronicle every thought I have on twitter or facebook or my blog. Most likely it's because I want to avoid actually studying, but partially it's because I become so HEY LOOK AT THAT. WHAT IS THAT. LET ME TALK ABOUT THAT. whenever I'm concentrating. I'm sure everyone who sews with me in the lab hates me because I yell at my fabric and talk to myself. (I'm pretty good at controlling the talking to myself now. The yelling at silk chiffon that WON'T DO WHAT I WANT IT TO DO....not so much.)

So I haven't posted in a while. Let's see what is new...

HA. Just reread my last post. How appropriate! I was studying for 447, working on history, and had a meeting at 6.

Today, I'm studying for 447, studying for history, reading for a 447 book report and freaking out about life and such.

And I have a meeting at 6.

HUZZAH.

So September ended. October came, Annie and I drove to Florida to go to the UA/FL game. I think I typed up a blog about it and never posted it, but long and short of it is that we had an AMAZING time. Chris and Amy did too, which made me REALLY happy and I'm so glad I got them tickets. It was SO nice to see them and my mom and dad and Kathy.

Uhm, came back, quality control ended, and we all huzzah'd. We took 15 people to midnight sushi, which was definitely a really really amazing night. I helped a lot more with homecoming than I ever expected I would, but it was a lot of fun. Friday of homecoming when it had to be up I was one of the few upperclassmen to show up and I'm really glad I got to help lead the set up. It made me feel useful, and I got to keep mentoring my lovely little freshmen (did I tell you I'm mentoring them and planning activities for CBH this year? Because I am.).

I skipped the homecoming game to study, but I went to the bonfire and parade with Clay and Heather. The bonfire was a little lame, but that's okay. The parade was fun, but waaay too long. After the parade we decided to go to Moundville for the festival. We drove all the way out there, discovered it was $8, turned around and came back. Bahahaha. We're cheap. The drive was fun though, so it was worth it. I spent last weekend being fairly useless. I did something else, but I can't remember what. Oh well.

So I guess that brings us up to this past week. Mrs. Batson closed the CBH office for the week, so I was literally in the sewing lab every single day, Monday through Saturday. I got A LOT done, and I'm really pleased with it. Thursday night we celebrated Heather's birthday with Olive Garden, Hocus Pocus and the most disgustingly awesome cake I've ever made. Two funfetti cakes + 3 jars of frosting + inadequate cooling time + poor planning = volcano/avalanche/landslide failure of a cake that turned into the best thing ever. YUP.

Friday I sewed all day in the lab, then I got into Debbie Downer mode until Erin rescued me. OH WAIT LET'S BACK UP. LET'S TELL YOU WHY ERIN HAD TO RESCUE ME.

I got my hair cut Wednesday afternoon because I was tired of it being boring. She basically did nothing, but I paid her $30 anyway. She said to come back if I wanted anything changed. Cut to Friday, I realize I want my bangs a little swoopier and maybe less in my face. So I go back after sewing, wait 45 minutes, and she gets to cutting. and cutting. AND CUTTING. Before I know it, I have these terrifying wisps of bangs bluntly cut across my forehead trying to defy the cowlick from hell and failing miserably. I was like JUST STOP I'LL FIX IT AT HOME and I left horrified. They are AWFUL. And you can't even say "they're not that bad" because they are. I have boy mushroom bowl cut bangs.

So yeah. I was talking to Erin and I was like hey come over and she's like hey let's go to dinner, so she met me at my place, at which time I proceeded to lose it over my hair and being overwhelmed by life. HOW AWESOME. God bless my friends and their ability to deal with my big bowl of crazy.

So we went to ihop and had the most adorable waiter and I confused everyone by ordering hard-boiled eggs (no breakfast serving places seem to understand why I could possibly want them that way) and Erin saved me from my insanity. Then Robert offered movie night and I really didn't want to study anyway so we came to my place so I could clean a little then we headed there and watched movies. Such a better night than how the afternoon started out.

Yesterday...I sewed for 4 hours in the morning, napped for 2, then studied for 7 straight. YUP. I LOVE YOU AMERICAN HISTORY. But good grief was I productive!! Today I've studied for about 4 or 5 hours. Apparently my dining room table has magical powers that keep me focused. Who knew?

Now I must continue to study/read then go to Mortar Board at 6.

The next two weeks are going to be pure hell, so let's all pray Theresa survives and passes everything.

In other news, I've been excessively awkward lately and I apologize to those of you who have had to experience it. I'll make it up to you with PICTURES.

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”

It seems I make my way to my blog every time I need to be working on something else but I just don't feel like it yet.

Ah well, such is life. I read one of my old posts and it's kind of funny how much I can talk. and talk and talk and talk. And it's funny just how much I type/write/whatever exactly the same way I speak.

Whateva.

I can't believe I didn't tell you about the adventure Julia and I had in getting the football game last weekend!!

So we got back into town a lot later than we were expecting. After a series of mishaps, we eventually arrived at my apartment, hopped in my car and prayed for the best. We almost got into the Ridgecrest South deck, but that didn't pan out. We drove over by the paid parking because I had heard the Bryce Lawn parking was only $10 for the North Texas game, but obviously an hour before kickoff it was full. As we drove by the rest of the paid parking, we realized it had all been upped this year to $30. Thirty dollars?!!? That's INSANE. Plus, we didn't have that much cash on us. (Fun fact, one of them takes credit cards. That is ridiculous.)

But anyway. I remembered that the deck downtown was free and there was a dollar shuttle to the stadium. So we said sure, let's do that. We were both SO tired anyway that we figured we'd go, swipe in, stay for a quarter then go home. So we drive downtown to find that the deck is full. CURSES. All the surrounding lots are full as well, so we decided that I would drop Julia off, she'd swipe in, then we'd switch, I'd swipe in, then we'd go sleep. So as I'm driving down Greensboro to do this, I look over and I'm pretty certain there's a spot in front of Chuck's. I cut across two lanes (empty, of course, because everyone else is already at the game), pull a U-turn and pull into the most fabulous wonderful amazing miracle spot ever. I just kept telling Julia God was smiling on us. haha. So we walked over to the deck where the shuttle runs, bought our tickets (a dollar. a dollar. It was amazing.) and jumped on the trolley. After the most convoluted trek through downtown ever, we were dropped off in front of Rama Jama's, aka right behind the stadium. We weren't sure the lower bowl would be open, but we went for it. We strolled right through security, went inside and Annie had saved us both seats. AMAAAAAZING. And we were still there 40 minutes before kick-off.

We still were exhausted, but SO proud that we made it. I figured we would maybe stay for a half, but we ended up staying the ENTIRE game. It was one of the best game experiences I've ever had. I sat with Julia, Annie, Clay, Cameron, Ashley and several other people. It was so much fun. After the game, (which we won, duh.) Julia and I got in the line for the trolley. It only took like 15-20 minutes, really. We grabbed Jimmy Johns, went to her place to eat, then we parted ways from our super amazing adventure weekend.

That night I also got to see Gerbs and Cassidy!! I was so happy. It was only for like an hour, but I miss having Dan in my life, and Cassidy is amazing. I need to go down to NOLA and visit them really soon.

So that was last weekend. This week, I finished my pants (just in time) got my in-class history write back and didn't bomb it like I had expected, changed my CBH project, planned a ton for the senior show, and slept so little that I'm not sure I'm going to catch up.

Friday I went to Birmingham to go to Jo-Ann Fabrics. (ps, it is Jo-Ann. not Jo-Ann's.) I got the teal I was looking for and AMAZING fabric for Annie's Florida skirt. Oh yeah, did I mention that in the next four days I need to make outfits for the both of us for the AL/FL game? Yep. No sleep this week!

So that was good. I also went to Ross and found a gameday dress for the Arkansas game for ten bucks. Woohoo! When I came back I studied for International Trade, which is just a big barrel of fun. Theeeen I went to dinner with Thew and Kevin because YAY Matthew was in town this weekend!! It was fun. Got to park in the downtown deck this time because everywhere else was SO full. Curse you, Miss Sorority Row Pageant!

After that, I went to Robert's to watch movies with him, Heather and Julia. SO much fun. Oh goodness. I had never seen Hunchback of Notre Dame. There are A LOT of innuendos in that movie that I assume happy little 7 year olds don't get. We had a lot of fun.

Theeeeennnn yesterday I picked Julia up, we attempted the deck again, failed, parked a block away and took the trolley to the Arkansas game. We showed up about 2 hours before kick-off instead of 2 1/2 and it was PACKED! I was shocked. We still ended up with pretty decent seats, but it's just so weird. Also, the band now sits where we used to, so that shifted things a bit.

The game was a TON of fun. We soundly kicked their butts, it was excessively hot, but so so so much fun. I love football. I'm going to have to get in good with the UANYC alums when I move there so I can still watch all of the games with a bunch of people.

After the game, for some reason we waited for the stadium to almost completely empty. That was dumb. Julia and I had to wait for the trolley, and the line was backed up from Calvary to the stadium. Oops. We got to bond? haha. Matthew walked to his car and Clay rode his bike to my apartment. He beat us there by like 30 minutes. Our bad...

But yeah. Julia, Clay and Heather came over for dinner. I made pasta and we watch more football. Haha. Then we went to Julia's to get movies and we ended up watching Date Night. I realized about halfway through it that I had actually seen the entire thing before. Oops. After that I took everyone home and went to sleeeeep.

Today I have A LOT to get done. Which is why blogging right now is probably a bad idea. OH WELL. I'm going to finish my study guide for 447, start my history paper and hopefully start at least one skirt. Oh, and I have a meeting at 6. YAY SCHOOL.

“I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.”

so it's been like two weeks since my last update post. expecting me to remember everything that has occurred is setting yourself up for disappointment, but i'll try to hit the big notes.

the first football game of the season occurred, vs kent state. yaaay. it was fun. i've gone out a few places, we watched the penn state game at my place. i had to have kurt and dan come pick up a loveseat i bought like an hour before the game because it wouldn't fit in my car. that was an adventure. classes are kicking my butt. i found models, i finished a dress, i'm almost done with pants, i'm going to fail american history, and it's really stressing me out.

other than school, i've not really had much time for anything else. oh, that article i wrote did get published in the CW. they called it "controversial." HA. sarcasm doesn't translate when you don't know me i suppose. people were assholes about it, but i'm over it. it happens. cross getting published in the school newspaper off my college bucket list i guess.

this weekend was....a mess. i'm going to spend all day tomorrow studying. i'd detail out my life for the past few days, but i'm so damn confused and frustrated, it's not worth it. maybe later, blog. but i got 3 hours of sleep last night and i need more right now.